Being a woman …

As a woman, I live many lives. That of a mother, of a successful corporate executive, of a wife, of a daughter in-law. I might live alone, or with my husband, or with my inlaws or in a larger joint family. Each of these lives throws its own challenges at me, its own trials and tribulations, its own pains and joys, its own happiness and laughter. And till I dont live these lives, I really dont know what the journey is like. And the irony is, often I dont even select for myself the life I lead. It is somebody else’s choice, somebody else’s wish, somebody else dream or simply somebody else’s fault.

From the outside, you only see a “screensaver”, a rosy picture. Once you jump in, you are sucked in, as if in quicksand. In themselves, each of these lives can be quite nice, but when you are trying to live them all together, I realise how tough it is. As a woman, I constantly live with the fear, or maybe even the guilt, that I am dropping one of the balls. I get stressed that I dont do justice to any of them. I feel drained at the end of each day, but dont have something concrete to show for what I did in the day. I dont seek appreciation, i dont seek recognition, I only seek cognizance that I do all these things, all together. I dont feel jealous that men have it so easy. I feel jealous when i see other women not having to lead so many lives. I feel tired when I look at myself in the mirror and remember the days when I was still leading one life, of a student, and of a woman…when I was leading my own life, not someone else’s.

Being a woman….it is just so bloody tough.

Thankgod I am a man !

About Neeraj Garg

I have spent more than 20 years in the corporate world, in a mad rat race, like many others. Sometimes, very so rarely, I try and find some time for myself to pen down my thoughts.......not deep or intense, but often asking myself questions about issues that are top of mind.
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